Thank YOU

2015 is coming to an end.  Christmas is over.  We are starting to think about getting back into the routine next week.  I'm not sure I'm ready for routine again (have I told you before how much I LOVE to sleep in?!), but I am ready for a new calendar year.  I know that switching from the 31st to the 1st doesn't really change much, but sometimes you face a hard year (or series of years), and that calendar change can bring with it some added hope and promise.

2015 will long be remembered in our family as the year we had to make a decision we never expected, a year where we changed the trajectory of our family, and a year where we learned to cling to the Lord and to those who He used to carry us in ways we hadn't before.  With the unimaginable has come beauty, too.  So, though I am ready for the "new," I am thankful for the old.

One of my favorite things I've seen Him do this year is use completely unexpected people to comfort and bless us.  For months now, a friend who I don't know all that well has texted every so often just to check in and say something kind.  Another friend, who is facing his own share of personal stress and grief, has sent messages to Jeff and me just to say he's thinking of us and is here for us.  Two others who are friends from years ago sent messages at Christmas time just to say they were praying for us and that we were on their hearts.

I have seen my friends be my protectors in situations they knew were difficult for me.

I have opened envelopes to receive gift cards just because someone decided to bless us.

I have experienced the power of prayer yet again as people have lifted us up to the Lord.

I have seen the Body of Christ rally and choose to love us even when they don't understand.

It hasn't been all roses, as I've pointed out before.  We've had our share of heartache and pain, but I want to remember the whole picture as best as I can.  And the whole picture includes many beautiful people who have been Jesus to us.  So, thank you.  Thank you for carrying us through 2015.  In part because of you, we are not limping across the finish line.  We are still running.  We have our days where we stumble and fall and think we won't make it, but YOU are making it so much more manageable. 

Please don't ever think your text or call or smile or hug to someone doesn't matter.  I have seen God use those repeatedly this year, and they matter more than you know.  Thank you.  Keep being Jesus to those around you.  Even if they're hurting too much to say thank you, it is making a difference.  I, for one, have experienced it firsthand, and I am forever grateful.

Twelve!

I don't know how it happened, but I now have a twelve year old.  Emily Grace entered the world a little before midnight on December 15, 2003.  And now here we are, twelve years later, maneuvering the preteen world of middle school.  It happened in a blink--but what a great blink it's been!

Now that Emily is in middle school, her birthday is right in the middle of end of quarter exams.  She had to take a math test on her big day--however, she topped that off with a 100, so I guess it turned out okay. :)

Her day started with balloons on the wall in the shape of "12" (at least they're supposed to be).

 She then was surprised by special birthday donuts (as well as cards/gifts from a few family members):

She headed to school wearing one of her favorite outfits:

 After school, we went to dinner, and Emily got to sit on the saddle:

And we finished the night with yummy cookie cake:

We're going to Great Wolf Lodge over the break for her birthday, so that will be her gift/party.

Emily, I am so thankful for you and the special bond we share.  You are a handful, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I love watching you in your many activities (soccer, basketball, piano, and band to name a few), and I love how you are a leader both on and off the field and in the classroom.  You are full of life; you are beautiful; you are a blessing to me.  I'm so thankful for your love for Jesus and for people, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for you next.  Happy birthday, dear E!  Love you more.

Recital Time

Last night was Emily and Josh's fall piano recital.  Emily has been in piano for 2.5 years now, but Josh just started piano in June, so this was his first recital.  After Tuesday's rehearsal, he had declared that he didn't want to do piano and didn't want to do the recital, so I wasn't sure how it was going to go.  I tried to keep it low key with him the rest of the week, and we just kept telling them that they were playing to glorify God and to have fun.

Both kiddos were nervous last night, but they kept it under control pretty well.  Emily had a friend come to watch her (and then spend the night), and Josh has several friends his age who were also in the recital, so I think that helped them both.

They played 5th and 10th of the 11 who chose to perform this semester, and they both did great!  It is such a joy for me to see them learning to play a beautiful instrument, and I am so proud of them for overcoming their fears and stepping on that stage--and the recital was in the worship center this time instead of the chapel, so it really was a big stage in a big room!

Thank you, Daniel, for teaching my children how to play piano, and thank you, E and J, for using what you're learning to bring joy to others.

Thankful

Apparently my ability to blog on a consistent basis has not returned. ;)  It has been over a month since I last wrote.  Part of that stemmed from a need to be quiet for a little bit after my last post, and part of that simply stemmed from life being life and me not taking the time to write.

In the past month, we've had Halloween and Thanksgiving, a broken finger (Josh), a soccer tournament (Emily), DiscipleNow (also Emily) and plenty of regular life in the mix.  We've also continued in our healing.  As I shared precious time with a beloved friend today, I was extremely aware of just how much healing has taken place in four months.  Don't get me wrong, there are days and moments that are still difficult and worrisome, but the peace that is present is more than I could have asked for or imagined.

When I got home this afternoon, I saw this quote posted by a friend of mine in South Africa.  I can't seem to stop rereading it.  I just love it!

I am so thankful for those who have walked this long road with us and for those who have stepped in at various spots along the way.  We have some really great people who love us well, and as we ascend from the valley, we will not forget those who stuck it out with us.  We, of course, depend most of all on the Lord and the comfort He gives us, but we are so very thankful for the dear friends He has given us, too.

As we leave the Thanksgiving season behind and embark upon the Christmas season, my heart remains full of gratitude for the great things the Lord has done and continues to do.  He has given us life with Him, which is already more than enough, and yet He continues to give us so much more.  Thank You, Jesus, for restoring our souls and for drawing us to you.  You are worthy of all praise.

Messy

Many days, I feel like my life is on full display.  In the past few months, I've gone from feeling generally liked to knowing full well that people are talking about me and judging us.  I have been blocked by a couple people on Facebook; I have been unfriended and unfollowed; I have learned that information we never shared has somehow been made known anyway.  I've learned that there are some who think we are so wrong that they refuse to believe anything else--and I can't change that.  No matter how hard the decisions we made were (and are) for us, there are some who just don't seem to believe us when we say they are the best for everyone.  There are some who haven't respected our privacy and have been blatant about it.  And it hurts.

We are not without pain.  When you act out because you don't like a personal decision, it stings.  When you quickly turn away when you walk by us in church, we notice.  When you go from liking everything I've ever posted on Instagram to no longer liking a thing, you've made your point.  It is okay if you don't understand--it wasn't something we ever expected, and it is hard to grasp.  If we'd known this would be the outcome, I don't know if we would've been obedient from the start.

Life isn't always something that can be tied up in a pretty box, and I'm sorry that our mess has flooded over into your lives.  We didn't want this.  But we know without a shadow of a doubt that it is what is right for everyone involved.

I didn't fully understand how hard it could be to walk into a church until recently.  Now I know.  Not every face is smiling and welcoming.  Not every face loves you no matter what.  And that's going to have to be okay, I guess, because we are still welcome in God's eyes.  So, I will fight the anxiety and fear that I now face every time I enter the building.  I will lean on God and trust that He will continue carrying me.

He is my Rock, my Refuge and Strength.  He is Trustworthy and True.  He is Light in the darkness.  He is Merciful, Forgiving, Gracious and Good.  And He welcomes me with open arms.  That is enough for me.

Thankful Thursday

Today Emily sent me information about a prayer club at school that she is interested in joining, and I am thankful that she is interested in more than just the things of this world.

Last night, our family was able to attend the FC Dallas game together (they won) and see the Women's World Cup trophy.  We were also there early enough that we had a great parking spot and got to play and do all of the fun freebies they have inside the stadium.  And I am thankful.

Yesterday, I was able to play with toddlers for two hours during BSF, and I am thankful.

Tomorrow I get to watch Josh and the rest of his grade run laps to raise money for their school, and I am thankful that he is healthy and able to do so.

Next week, Jeff celebrates 18 years at the same company, and I am thankful.

This week I have watched my children as they have began to make their BSF lesson more their own, and I am thankful that they are learning about having daily time with the Lord.

I am thankful--for the little things every day that make life so much better.  I am thankful for the gifts God gives that we so often don't even see.  I am thankful.

Celebrating J

This past weekend was a three day weekend, so we finally celebrated Josh's birthday--a little late.  This year he chose to go to Great Wolf Lodge rather than having a party.  It's actually the third time in five years he's chosen this, and I love it!  It takes away the party planning and let's us all have a low stress good time.  Besides, it's one of our family's favorite places, so you can't beat that!

We were there for about 25 hours, and I think we made the most of every minute.  We played for hours in the water park, played Shadow Quest for a few more hours, trick-or-treated, ate yummy food, and even managed to sleep a little.

It's been a couple years since we've been there, and it was fun this time as we realized how much easier it is now that the kids are older.  They are much more self sufficient, and we were able to have a good time together without always worrying about if they were going to fall out of the tube on the water slide. ;)

So, though it's been a few weeks since my boy turned 9, happy birthday, J-man!  I am so thankful for you!  Thanks for letting us celebrate with you!

Girlfriends

This Thankful Thursday I am thinking about friendship.  As I received a call today from a friend who was concerned that the text she'd sent me might upset me, I hung up the phone relishing in the friends the Lord has given me.  I pondered the different types of friends: the ones who know you just need to go to lunch rather than heading home after Bible study, the ones who send a message just to check in, the ones who stay up late with you talking about everything and nothing, the ones who you meet up with for coffee or lunch, the ones who give you a hug at just the right moment, the ones who flat out love you no matter how ugly you're being or how much your insecurities are showing....The list could go on and on!

I have been so blessed in my friendships, and I am grateful.  There are obviously "seasonal" friends (those who are only around for awhile) as well as lifelong friends, and I am thankful for both.  Girlfriends are something irreplaceable in a woman's life, and I am thankful to have some of the best in the world.

Love you, girls.

From the Ashes

I feel like I need to take a minute and delve a little into the ashes.  Sometimes the ashes become flames when outside influences sweep in and stir them around, and I don't want that to happen.

First, to all of you who have come directly to us when you've had questions or wondered about what has been happening in our lives, thank you.  We are willing and fully able to speak for ourselves about what has happened, and we appreciate those of you who have gone straight to the source.  It is obviously a difficult situation, and we are doing our best to protect all involved.

For those who are mad at us or just don't understand, we are sorry you feel that way.  No one else has walked in our shoes--no matter how similar your situation might be, so no one can know what all has happened.  Please try to be respectful in the midst of whatever feelings you have toward us.  We are sorry for the pain it may have caused you from the outside, but try to imagine how much more pain we must feel on the inside.

And for those who have no idea what is going on, please feel free to private message us or speak to us directly (but preferably not in public or in front of our kids).  We aren't hiding out.  But we are moving forward.

By God's grace, we are healing and we appreciate your kindness towards us as the Lord mends our hearts and minds.

Soccer Saturday

Today was FULL of soccer!  Josh had 2 games, Emily had one, and the kids were signed up for the Lauren Holiday Experience, too.  For those who don't know, Lauren Holiday is on the U.S. Women's National Team (soccer), and they recently won the World Cup--and her club team won the NWSL Championship a couple days ago for the 2nd year in a row.  She is retiring after the USWNT Victory Tour, so this is likely one of the last times she'll do an event like this (anytime soon anyway).

Both E and J had a couple friends at the Lauren Holiday Experience with them, and Jeff was out on the field as a "helper" coach during the clinic part of the morning.  There was a Q&A time, and they handed out some questions ahead of time to a few kids to get things going.  Josh was supposed to ask one, but he passed it on to Emily, so she got to talk in the mic and ask Lauren what her favorite smoothie is (the event was sponsored by Smoothie King).  After the Q&A, they did a little bit of the USWNT warm-up drill, and then we got in line for autographs and smoothies.

Emily's friend and teammate, Madeline, is currently undergoing chemotherapy for osteosarcoma, so E and her friend asked Lauren to wear a Madeline Strong bracelet and we got a picture of her in it.  She also signed a picture of our Manchester team for Madeline.  We were so excited to get to meet her and have her help us to support sweet Madeline.  (And Josh smiled and got a picture and autograph, too--he is just a lot more chill about the whole thing.) ;)

It was a great Saturday of soccer that finished with a nice win by Baylor--my favorite kind of Saturday in the fall!  Now if only I didn't have a red neck and red cheeks....oh well!  It was worth it!

D, E, and K waiting for an autograph

Josh with Lauren

J and Lauren again

E and Lauren

Showing off her #madelinestrong bracelet

Signing our team picture

FIGHT ON!

Autographed picture the kids got

Field Trip!

Today was Emily's first middle school field trip.  We found out about it several weeks ago, and once I found out it was a trip to the George Bush Presidential Library, I immediately hoped Emily wouldn't mind if I chaperoned--thankfully, she didn't! I'd never been there before and have been wanting to go, so I was excited for the chance to not only go there but to get to go with her class.  Who knows how much longer she'll let me hang around....I'll take all the chances I can get!

We went to the Meadows Art Museum, Jason's Deli for lunch, and then the Presidential Library.  Things were a little rushed at both the museum and the library, but it was still a fun day.  Emily even wanted me to sit with her on the bus ride from school since her friends weren't in our group.  (Again, who cares about the reason--she wanted me to sit with her on a middle school bus ride!)  She did eventually link up with a new friend from history and sat with her on the ride home, which was fine with me.

It was fun to see her among some new friends today and get a taste of 6th grade life.  And I loved the presidential library--now I just want to go back and have more time to actually read all the signage and sit through the short movies playing throughout the rooms.

All in all, definitely a thankful Thursday. :)

Revelation

Bible Study Fellowship started back a few weeks ago, and, for the first time ever, Revelation is the book we are studying.  It has been highly anticipated as it is a new study and so many want to know more about the end times.  I think those of us in leadership have been a bit anxious about leading our groups with such a hard topic (or at least I have been!), but it has been AMAZING so far!  I feel my anticipation of Jesus' return growing as we have been looking at prophecies and an overview of Revelation.  It has been incredible to look at how clearly the Lord has fulfilled prophecies already and to look ahead at what He is still going to do.

Even better this year, the whole family is in Bible Study Fellowship.  E and J don't start going to class until Monday, but they started doing the lessons last week, and it is such a blessing to get to study alongside my children.  Jeff and I have the exact same lesson and then E and J have different levels of the lesson as well, so we are all studying the same overall topic and Scriptures with various degrees of questions.  I love that we will all be learning the same thing and can talk about what God is saying to us through the lessons.

And, again this year, I have been blessed with the best discussion group ever.  I don't know how that happens every year, but I am just in love with these ladies and their desire to know God more.  It is such a testimony to me to hear their stories and see how the Lord is working in their lives.

I am so thankful that, when the time was right, the Lord prompted me to join BSF, and now my whole family is able to take part in it as well.  God is doing mighty things through His people, and I am humbled to be able to be part of it.

Thank you, Lord, for Bible Study Fellowship and its impact on so many!

Beauty from Ashes

After a several month hiatus, I am jumping back into blog land with a brand new blog.  Our family has walked a road we never expected nor asked for, and the changes that have taken place (and will continue to take place) call for a new place to write.  Hence, this blog Beauty from Ashes.

Many times when we see destruction, our eyes see the ugly, the dirty, the disaster.  But I serve a great God, and He can see so much more.  He sees the redemption, the growth, the beauty.  And that is what I want to see.  For far too long, I have been living in the ashes, and I am ready to see the beauty that is rising from them.

Our family's story did not end this summer, and as we walk the road the Lord has led us on, we will continue to look to the One who has brought us here.  His ways are good, and He makes everything beautiful in its time.

Through the whispers, the judgment, and the misunderstandings, we will cling to the Lord, for He alone knows our hearts and knows our circumstances.  And He is with us every step of the way.

Our story does not end in ashes, and this blog is a place to begin writing about the beauty once again. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store!